Friday, May 05, 2006


Well the week is almost over and I almost didn’t have time to add my All You Need This Week … entry. But I just made it before the weekend . So all you need this week ....

This week all you need are crazy injuries, well you don’t really need them, but you do need some songs to get through them. You see since we last spoke I witnessed a horrific soccer injury. Tim, our star Rampage striker, “dislocated” his ankle on Sunday. Are you saying “Dislocated ankle? I’ve never heard of that”. Lucky you. Basically it means his foot was no longer located below his leg and moved to the side. When I was holding his leg up waiting for the ambulance I could see the bottom of his leg bone. Nasty nasty nasty. I almost passed out (because I’m a wimp). At the ER they knocked him out and put his foot back into his leg so it was facing the right way again (see pic of Tim after he woke above). The amazing part is that he didn’t break anything, don’t know how that is possible, and even more amazing is the fact that he doesn’t even need surgery. Crazy.

Speaking of indestructible people, did you hear the news on Keith Richards this week? According to USA Today:

“Keith Richards’ fans gathered outside a hospital Sunday where the Rolling Stones guitarist was believed to be undergoing treatment for a mild concussion reportedly suffered when he fell out of a palm tree on vacation in Fiji.

One newspaper also reported that Richards, 62, got on a Jet Ski after the fall and had another accident. Several Australian and New Zealand media outlets reported the fall from the tree.”

Quick, what’s the difference between Keith Richards with a concussion and Keith Richards without a concussion? I don’t know either.

Keith Richards on a jet-ski…. I can’t even imagine how funny seeing that would be.

Unfortunately the latest news is that Keith actually has some brain hemorrhaging. No word on whether that was caused by the fall or he’s had it for the last 40 years. The Doctors are worried the brain injury might cause him to slur his speech and wobble a little when he stands. I have no doubt he’ll have a miraculous Tim-like recovery.

So in honor of these injuries All You Need This Week …..


For Tim, I would have done RED RIGHT ANKLE by THE DECEMBERISTS for Tim but it was his left ankle, and it wasn’t really red, it just was sorta detached. Something from the soundtrack to MY LEFT FOOT would be more appropriate. I could also have quoted PLANET TELEX by RADIOHEAD:

“You can force it but it will not come…Everything is broken. Everyone is broken.” But as stated, NOTHING was broken!

So instead all Tim needs this week is from SOMEWHAT DAMAGED by NINE INCH NAILS off of the album FRAGILE (thanks Mrs. Hops!):

“Broken. Bruised. Forgotten. Sore. Too fucked up to care anymore"

Here’s wishing them (and the other injured Rampage players out there) speedy recoveries.

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